Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Friendship and Extended Metaphors

Making new friends is kinda like getting a bonsai tree.
At first you’re all like, fuck yeah, I got a bonsai, look how neat! But then you start to realize that bonsais require EFFORT and you have to WATER THEM and put weird little wires on their BRANCHES and then you’re just kinda like, yeah, there’s a tiny-ass tree on my windowsill and I don’t know how to feel about that.
Bonsai trees don’t understand when you just want to lie in bed and contemplate the weight of the universe pressing on your eyeballs. They’re all like, hey, repot me and check my soil composition and also let’s go out for beers.
How do you explain social anxiety to a bonsai tree?
Why do I always want things that I will eventually kill?

Sunday, February 16, 2014


Writing a personal entry about my life seemed like a good idea about two minutes ago, but now it’s hanging over my head like one of those commitments you see to completion due to obligation rather than desire.
Or maybe I just won’t see it through at all.
(That in and of itself is probably the best example of what my life is really like, anyway.)