I AM A CREEPER BUT IT IS FOR THE SAKE OF ART AND ALL.

I finally felt inspired to begin the editing I need to do on last year’s NaNovel. Yay. For those who aren’t aware, I visited Swans Island over the summer and took photos of the houses. Not in a real estate sort of way—I just wanted to pick out houses to belong to characters in my novel so that I could refer to them for descriptive purposes.

Today I did myself one better and used the pictures and my memory of where the houses were to FIND THEM ON THE SATELLITE VERSION OF GOOGLE MAPS. Then I did math (tm) to figure out how long it would take the protagonists to walk to each other’s houses, how long it would take to bike to the ferry terminal, etc.

Grade A sketchball up in here.

Someday the people who live in those houses will read my novel and be like, oh hey, that sounds like my house. Wait. Fuck.

Then they will look over their shoulders just to make sure I am not there. Lurking. In the shadows.

AND I WON’T BE, because I will be off doing famous person things like going to book signings and bathing in my tub full of cheesecake pudding.

Nanowrimo

today there was a bite in the air which means sweaters and picking out pumpkins i won’t ever carve but mostly it means nanowrimo.
NANOWRIMO, OKAY, FUCK I AM EXCITED.

almost one year ago i completed 50000k of a novel, and then used the motivation and happy thoughts to finish out the project at a grand total of 89293 words by january. then i sat around patting myself on the back for a month or two. then i did nothing for AGES, because guess what, i wrote a novel and i rule and oh my goodness hurray.

then i went to maine and found out that the way i described the setting was all inaccurate, and that i used the word “eyes” like 3000 times, and that i needed to go back in and add another lobster boat. (yes, this is essential, okay, gosh.) so there’s that, which hasn’t actually happened because i am lazy and because NANOWRIMO OKAY I AM TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THINGS TO EDIT OLD NOVELS GEEZE.

so yeah, i will do that eventually. hopefully before november rolls around, because i want to dedicate all of my time to nano. i already have my basic idea for this years story and have begun outlining, see.
can someone please be excited with me? pleaseee?

Neverland

i’m giving myself ten minutes to grow up, 
and with every minute that passes i am remembering
balloons and party hats and streamers 
and the second star to the right, 
straight on ‘til morning.

every year i write myself a poem for my birthday, 
but this year i think i’ll write a poem about 
peter pan and he’ll die in the end and everyone 
will be sad. i’ll be the saddest though, 
because there comes a point in your life 
when you realize that you’re not peter pan, 
or wendy, or even a lost boy.

(how sad, i think, to be lost but not a lost boy.
it doesn’t matter though, because neverland isn’t 
real and now look, i’m another year older, and what 
have i even done with my life?)

today i’m twenty-three and peter pan is dead.
my ten minutes have passed and i still haven’t 
grown up. people around me forget how to talk
to mermaids, and no one claps because no one 
believes in fairies, or flying, or themselves.

today every birthday candle looks like a bone
and i still have so many wishes left to make.
maybe i should know who i am and what i am 
doing by now, but i don’t know. i don’t care. 
i’m twenty-three and this is all i have, it’s all i
will ever have. you can keep your careers and cars
and aspirations. i will be waiting by my window 
for a little boy with stars for eyes who can 
never grow older because he is dead.