Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Friendship and Extended Metaphors

Making new friends is kinda like getting a bonsai tree.
At first you’re all like, fuck yeah, I got a bonsai, look how neat! But then you start to realize that bonsais require EFFORT and you have to WATER THEM and put weird little wires on their BRANCHES and then you’re just kinda like, yeah, there’s a tiny-ass tree on my windowsill and I don’t know how to feel about that.
Bonsai trees don’t understand when you just want to lie in bed and contemplate the weight of the universe pressing on your eyeballs. They’re all like, hey, repot me and check my soil composition and also let’s go out for beers.
How do you explain social anxiety to a bonsai tree?
Why do I always want things that I will eventually kill?

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